Goodbye, Julie

This one’s not about yoga. Unless it’s the yoga of dying, passing on, leaving this physical world. For Julie Hafer, a woman in my writing class, has died. Suddenly, on Sunday. She was 47 years old, witty, a good writer, funny, and loved by the class. I didn’t know her well but I liked what I knew. Julie, it doesn’t seem fair! You were giving most of your time toward taking care of your elderly parents. You didn’t get to live a full life of your own, it seemed. I am shocked, numbed, and angry at the Universe for taking you away so soon.

And who am I, after all? I am sure I am looking in a mirror. I have always felt I was in a race with Time. How much time do I have left? Will I get everything accomplished in this lifetime? I even had a vision one day, walking into the front door from my car, that some other-worldly creature would be sitting on my couch. I’d look at him knowingly and say, “It’s time, isn’t it.” My time is up. Nada. Over. That’s it.

So I take it personally that someone younger than I is gone. How did she spend her last day? What caused her death, anyway? Does it really matter? She’s gone and that’s a fact. I didn’t get to vote on it. I am not God even though I may be divine. I have to get over it. I have my own life to live and Julie’s leaving is a stark reminder that we must live in the present moment–just as Eckhart Tolle says, just as I always knew but don’t always follow. God, now you got my attention!

Time to meditate.

3 responses to “Goodbye, Julie

  1. Phoebe, A pleasure to notice your weblog and to read today’s posting. Isn’t it amazing how soundly our minds can think (most of the time), and how our heart can pull our cognition apart. For may of us, the subject of life and death is of that nature.

    WIshing you a day filled with light and positive energy!

  2. Phebe – You said it best. I heard about Julie from Leigh, but did not know her personally. Sometimes, we have to rant at the machine, not to be heard, but to hear ourselves.

  3. It isn’t fair, is it? Nicely written, Phebe. You are right, something like this does make you wake up and decide to live in the present. So much is happening right in front of us and we often miss it because we are not “here.” I’ll miss Julie and wish I got to know her better, but I am grateful that I knew her at all. Her friendship and now her death teaches me to reach out to others and touch their lives like Juie touched mine. Thanks for your words. Beautiful.

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