I realize I am pushing math to the limit those times I say I’m “middle-age.” This can only be true if I were to live to 118 (59 + 59)! Not impossible but highly unlikely. I mean, the statistics are against it.
I know how lucky I am: I’m an early retiree and I get a pension from all those years at the Library. So I have security most of my friends do not. On the other hand, I have diabetes in my family — both grandmothers and a sister. My doctor considers me diabetic but says don’t worry about checking my glucose on a regular basis. My numbers are low but still ….. I just completed a 6 week vegan/juicing/detox regimen with five other women [I’ll write about it soon] and, besides feeling energetic, lost 8 pounds. Hurray and it’s not enough. Yoga, elliptical, treadmill, and walking my two dogs all help.
What is so great about being the age I am (old enough to wear purple every day if I choose) is that I don’t hold back nearly as much as I used to. I used to worry about what people thought, did they like me? ad nauseum. Now, I realized I can only be me and if they can’t handle my progressive views and alternate lifestyle, they’ll just have to go elsewhere. I feel now that I am actually choosing what I want to prioritize in my life and who I want to surround myself with. My life is filled with writing/meditation/chanting/yoga. I live in an A frame with a creek and woods in my backyard. I have a deck where I can spend 1/2 the year in my ‘outdoor living room.’
I spend a lot of my time communicating, whether it be by phone, in person, on Facebook or Twitter. There are some weeks when it seems I spend hours eating and gabbing with someone I know (or am getting to know) from the various circles I travel in. I have chosen those circles and this feels good.
In fact, it’s great! I have my health, a certain wit, and things to learn and do before it is all over for this lifetime, at least. In 2009 I feel positive about my personal situation even if the news seems to sink further into a cesspool of greed and corruption. I don’t hide behind rose-colored glasses but I don’t have to dwell on the negative either. I know 60 is coming up next and (gulp) then I’ll really have to grow up (is it true, Peter Pan?). Meanwhile, I choose to stay present to a certain childlike wonder that makes my life worth living.