Of course I was disappointed. The California Supreme Court upheld the ban on same-sex marriage. But the weirdest part, to me, is that the Court upheld the 18,000 gay marriages approved originally. This is so contradictory. How are those marriages acceptable? How can some gay people be married and others not? Where is this arbitrary line of demarcation? It seems absurd.
Frankly, I expected more from California, land of the free-spirited. San Francisco was always my favorite place to visit. You could go there with ‘flowers in your hair.’ So when a state like Iowa, the heartland, passes same-sex marriage, something is happening in America. This is good news. And New England is carving out progressive space, state after state. Forget about Ohio, forget about the Deep South. But I never would have believed I’d see the ones we have seen, in my lifetime.
The thing is, marriage was never the most important issue for many of us lgbt people. Some of us have been more concerned with the shocking numbers of suicides in young gays and lesbians. Issues like health care, poverty, and homelessness. No matter what the sexual orientation, women and children have it the worst. They are too often the poorest, living on the margins. Some of these women are lesbian. While the media too often focuses on the stereotype of privileged white gay males, living in West Hollywood, with their little dogs and big houses, this is definitely the exception. More of us are just like you, struggling to get by.
Back in the ’80s several women couples I know got ‘trysted.’ We created and performed our own ceremonies. No law has the right to tell us who to love nor will it stop us. We don’t need the approval of Rick Warren or the Mormon Church. Nor do we deserve their hate. This issue gets down to the basics: the right of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.