productivity & frustration / poem 78

OK, I know most of you won’t feel sorry for a young retiree having a busy day today. I pat myself on the back for taking care of odious errands — dental appointment and oil change. These two tasks have been on my list for a long time. There is something freeing about erasing them from both my literal kitchen counter list and my muddled mental one. I followed these up with more pleasant errands like a hair cut, a nutritious smoothie for lunch, a quick ATM stop, and a gratifying elliptical session at the Y.

So it was with consternation that I got home and DIDN’T HAVE MY INTERNET. Yes, I would give up many things — tv, Netflix, and even food, if necessary, to have my wireless connection. Actually, this morning before I left I was able to hop on a neighbor’s wireless to read a few important emails. But when I returned home after a five hour day, I was irritated that I couldn’t check my email. Yes, I’ll be the first to admit: I am addicted. My answer to this is: there are so much worse addictions out there. I don’t want to hear it!

My phone sessions with the Time Warner people began nicely enough but customer service broke down for me when I had to tell the third representative the last four digits of my Social Security number. After talking to two tech people, they finally admitted there was a problem with my cable modem (I knew that). Now I must wait until Sunday to have a house visit (at least they do house visits). I’ll have to lock the dogs up; last time, my shepherd jumped the cable guy when he went into a room to check something after I’d been assured he wouldn’t have to come into the house.

I am now in my neighborhood library branch with my laptop. Fortunately, I could hop on its Cincinnati Bell wireless even though I have Time Warner. Otherwise, I would have to wait in line for the public terminals and peer through a smudged computer screen or sit next to a sexual offender. Whine. I was lucky to have my IPod with me from working out so could tune out not only small children’s voices but also the loud, but helpful, librarian on duty. I am really addicted — I can hear my own voice in my head!

Today has been an opportunity to practice all those Buddhist precepts I took nearly a decade ago: not to kill and steal for starters. Now if I can just get through the weekend without getting ‘intoxicated to the point of heedlessness’ ! I already came close to killing a cable rep with my anger but made sure to use ‘I statements’ : “I know it’s not your fault but I’m frustrated because I’ve already told two other people this same information!” All of this is to say I am being faithful to my blog and writing it early in the evening while the library is still open. Hey, these are four happy kids looking through movies for their evening entertainment. I have to admit they’re pretty cute and even behaving in the library. Maybe I could survive an evening or two without internet and catch up on those movies I have at home. After all, I know how fortunate I am to own a laptop and IPod, have a car to drive to the library branch, and be able to afford internet at home — even if it fails me every now and then.


frustration can sometimes
lead to a new awareness:
things are rarely as bad as they seem.


3 responses to “productivity & frustration / poem 78

  1. I had a day much like yours with internet annoyances (and more)! I chose to get out of the house and do some harmless errands instead of bring harm on someone at home. I like your attitude, Phebe. If only we could all take a deep breath and find the good in all the bad – and then write a poem about it! Bravo. Another enlightening experience from Phebe!

  2. Hi, Dawn, thanks so much for your kind words! We do what we can, huh. I don’t see my spirituality as separate from my daily life.

    It was good of you to leave the house rather than ‘bring harm.’ Kinda Buddhist of you. (Maybe that time at Naropa U. paid off!)


  3. Thank for this ,I think it best and i will get idea.Your website is look good design.

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