A stranger’s ashes are on my puja

It has only been since Friday and I still can’t get used to it. In fact, I’ve avoided my meditation room for days, knowing a small vial of Steven Robert Greb’s ashes are there. I put them there, on my puja (altar), because I don’t know yet where to scatter them. They serve as a stark reminder of how precious life is.

Richard and I went as ‘ambassadors’ of Siddha Yoga, specifically the Siddha Yoga Meditation Center in Cincinnati. The funeral home called the Center’s phone line on Labor Day and requested that someone come to the memorial in Miamisburg, Ohio and represent Steve’s spiritual practice. I read from Baba Muktananda about not fearing death, and Richard played ten minutes of the mantra. Afterwards, we discovered that several close family members had been to the ashram and met Gurumayi. Life is full of surprises!

Meanwhile, death. I face it daily in the form of Steve’s remains. I already had a fierce relationship with time. Ever since I’ve been an adult, I have had a certain free floating anxiety about having enough time, getting everything done before . . . . . you know. Seeing that phrase “having enough time” slams it in my face. First, I can’t possess time and what is “enough,” who decides? It’s a crazy race I’ve been running and I’m tired of it.

I, Phebeananda, do hereby declare that I am in charge of my own schedule. I decide my priorities (except when death and life circumstances intervene, ha!). There’s no time to waste yet I can rest and relax as I may. And if I forget the urgency of doing what’s important to me, I can sit in front of my puja and talk to Steve.

4 responses to “A stranger’s ashes are on my puja

  1. Beautiful, Phebe. Thank you for the reminder. I too am being reminded of this of late!

  2. Dear Phebenanda, my wife and I were friends and neighbors of Steven Robert Greb when he lived in Hawaii, and we would like to be able to send our condolences to Steve’s family. If you know how we could do that we would be very thankful. When Steve left Hawaii he was working through some very hard issues, and I’m so glad he found your meditation center which seems to me such a miracle for him to find peace. Thank you for representing Steve’s spiritual practice at his funeral. God Bless,

    Howard Wade
    Honolulu, HI

  3. Dear Howard Wade
    I was Steven’s neighbor here in Ohio. I have printed out your request in finding Steve’s family here on the main land. I will pass this on to his sister and daughter. Lady
    May and Sally May are doing great. Your post here worked. My brother in-law and sister live out there on the army base and they notified me.
    Mary fritts

    • Hi, Mary,
      I had met Susan, Steve’s sister, at the memorial and emailed her about Howard. So glad you and everyone are finding each other through my spontaneous blog post. And so glad Lady May and Sally May are doing great. I know Steve would be worried about his dog darlings. Everyone, take care! Phebe, the Goddess Babe

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