This morning out in my backyard, alone, I started crying. “Bodhi, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t help it. There was nothing else to do,”
I was walking with a chant on my tablet, my anxious-lazy version of a walking meditation. On those stones, those many stones from Home Depot–was it two summers ago now? My mad idea of a zen rock garden.
I should call Sally. She’d understand. Do therapy again? But my answer was simple: just feel it, feel the sadness, I have to go through it.